This Is For You

Hello loves, ❤

This is for the person with anxiety. For the one with dry eyes and big dreams and a relentless spirit. For the one that is their own worst enemy and their only friend. For the one that reading this has felt the tremor of every fleeting emotion and yet, feels nothing at all.

For the one that yearns to fill their days with explosions of love, hurricanes of passion and a rainfall of peace. For the one that knows that it doesn’t matter how slowly you go as long as you don’t stop, but how much longer and will they ever get there?

This is for the person whose pulse sometimes feels like a rocket headed for space but trapped in their body. The one that feels the vibration of every noise with every fiber of their being and it hurts, but they trusts that one day their body will learn— the danger is gone.

This is for the person that has spent too many a day on a battlefield with their thoughts — running away from them or tirelessly accepting, making promises or greeting threats.

Who has always taken a double portion of responsibility and twice the guilt because they live life in parallel. A life of endless dilemmas that tear you apart; a part of you is here but the other always somewhere far away in the realm of better possibilities.

This is for the person that sometimes feels utter exhaustion without having done a thing at all, because that’s what living in their head feels like.

For the one that has used up all of their energy to try and remain calm, and is now angry because they got mountains to climb, rivers to swim in and rainbows to walk over.

For the person that has tossed and turned and tossed and turned and there isn’t a cold corner of their bedsheets left that they can cling to. For the person who has jiggled with the threat of death in their head, while their body has faithfully carried on with the day.

For the person that is small and tiny but is actually a kingdom for three: their fear, their thoughts and their loving heart. And to the one that has spent most of their days trying to make it a harmonious trio.

For the person that knows this to be true, but refuses it to see it as a sad story. For they are not a victim. But is grateful instead for their chance to grow and become their own master. They still feel the bliss in every day and slows down to smell the roses. They never forget to thank God for every waking day. Yes, to you I want to say— I see you, I feel you, I believe in you.

Your darkness is my light. The places that scare you, the situations that dare you, they glare you. They make you real and living and true. How you build yourself over and over again, with the rise of dawn every morning despite what the night had brought, how you keep trying to accept yourself despite the voices that tell you, you are hard to love. How you hope against hope, and hold tight and always breathe new life to your extinguished fire — that to me is beauty and meaning and strength. You are the first star to appear оn the night sky and defy the darkness, you are the pearl oyster covered in stardust in the debris of the sea, you are the graceful ballerina that keeps on dancing on a tightrope despite her pain.

You know not what you do, but trust me if there is one thing that brings light to this world, it is you.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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Coping With Anxiety & Insecurities In Relationships

Hello loves, ❤

 “Avoiding overthinking and jumping to conclusions could be the key to overcoming your relationship anxiety”

I can tell you for sure that being in a relationship can make us feel vulnerable and emotionally exposed. I had always been prone to stress and doubt and it still manifests when I’m not mindful of it.

This isn’t a strange phenomenon for people who have been hurt in the past or have had love addiction or anxiety issues in the past. Relationship anxiety can be very hard to deal with when let to build up to a certain level. In a generally healthy relationship, you’ll want to learn how to deal with relationship anxiety if you’re prone to it.

1. Review and note potential causes.

Relationships are like the wave concept in physics; they have peaks and troughs. It’s normal to have issues in a healthy relationship from time to time, and you should aim to resolve these hiccups in a respectful and gentle manner.

The problems you might be dealing with might be related to money, jealousy, doubt, and fear of abandonment. When there’s a loss of trust, a feeling of walking on eggshells, long-term stress, or excessive negativity, your relationship can feel challenging, leading to anxiety. If potential causes like these exist and compound your anxiety, you might want to seek professional help to navigate your way out of it.

2. This is hard but avoid jumping to conclusions.

You have to be mature enough to admit that the problem could be imaginary and due to your own over-thinking. Be realistic about what you can really sense in your partner. Don’t be quick to assume the worst. If you have doubts, be proactive and communicate with your partner.

When your partner talks about their feelings, be receptive and open to what they’re saying. Avoid jumping to conclusions about what they’re trying to communicate to you. Don’t imagine you understand everything about your partner’s gender and categorize their expressions or emotions in a box of your gender or personality assumptions. Do not assume any negative feelings are because of you.

3. Accept there are no perfect relationships.

Every relationship has its issues and you won’t always be in the same mindset or emotional state as your partner. It took me a while to actually accept this. I always expected my partners to give me at least 80% of themselves daily. I started having doubts whenever they couldn’t give me what I thought I wanted.

In a bid to not appear demanding, I would compel myself to give at least 80% of myself every day too, even when I knew I didn’t just have that energy level. I was on constant emotional burnout and it compounded my anxiety.

I didn’t let my partners go through their phases of life because I didn’t know if I could even be there for them. Letting yourself be natural and transparent about when you can’t give your maximum level of emotional energy helps you see the humanness of your partner too. Their decision to still stick with you and stay really sweet to you even on their low days is where the love is.

4. Recognize that relationships are different.

Having problematic relationships in the past make you distrustful of your current partner, but it’s important to realize that every relationship is different. Avoid bringing feelings from your past relationship into a current one. Recognize that your partner is a different person, with different motivations, fears and attributes. Let a past relationship go so its shadow doesn’t hang over a current one.

5. Affirm the positives.

We can sometimes focus too much on the negatives and forget the qualities we love in our partners. Instead of dwelling on negatives, take regular time-outs to celebrate the good things in your relationship. Focus on what you love about your partner and the things he or she does for you. Concentrating on the positives can make you feel more secure and allow you to fully feel the love your partner has for you.

6. Seek security in yourself.

I worked hard to rebuild my self-confidence which I realized was a powerful way to counter anxiety in a relationship. You don’t have to give your partner all the responsibility for your happiness, take some of it back and become more self-assured. This can lighten the pressure on your partner and reduce relationship tension.

7. Connect with your partner.

I learned from experience that you sometimes actually have to ask your partner to make an effort to connect and communicate with you. We’re all very different people and we may not really know one another’s commitment style. I’ve learned that you actually have to ask for a lot of things in a healthy relationship.

Asking does not mean that your relationship is falling apart, it just means that you and your partner are different individuals looking to share genuine intimacy and bond. If you’re encountering challenges in your relationship, one strategy to take is to start over anew. Clear old out emotions and perceptions and start dating as if you have just met. From here you could rebuild and rediscover the trust you had.

Connecting with your partner can also mean exchanging needs. Sit down and have a discussion about what each partner needs from the relationship. Work from your lists to do the best you can to satisfy each other’s needs.

Physical affection is also important for re-engaging with your partner. Touching, holding, and otherwise showing physical affection could help you recreate your connection and strengthen your trust to reduce anxiety.

Other ways to minimize anxiety are practicing mindfulness and targeting anxiety with stress busters (meditation, exercise, subtle social activities, long walks, and living in the present).

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

Raise The Vibrations In Your Home

Hello loves, ❤

We often talk about places and people exuding ‘good energy’ or ‘bad energy’ – when we really mean the energy is high or low.

In scientific terms, describing energy as high or low is actually describing the rate of vibration or frequency.

The higher a ‘vibration’ of a person or place, the better we feel. And the higher the vibration of our homes, the better we feel in them. They become a safe haven, a space to recharge our batteries and lift our spirits.

Here are 15 ways to raise your home’s vibrations for health and happiness.

1. De-Clutter

Removing clutter, duplicate items and things that we no longer have a use for can free up space, and leave us feeling much happier and more comfortable.

Pare down your wardrobe, dump the ‘just in case’ items you never use, and always choose quality over quantity. Other ways to de-clutter your home include borrowing instead of buying, using multi-purpose products and spending on experiences rather than ‘things’.

2. Burn Herbs

The burning of herbs, a practice known as smudging, has been used for thousands of years to cleanse the air of impurities such as bacteria and viruses. Smudging is also used as a traditional mystical ritual, changing, clearing and shifting the surrounding air.

Take a dried bundle of herbs and light it, then quickly blow the flame out, allowing the smoke to waft around the house. Both the healing properties and scent of the herbs are released into the air. While sage is by far the most popular herb to smudge with, pine, rosemary, and lavender are also good options.

Smudging can be used to clear your space when:

• You move into a new home
• You begin a new job or career
• A guest leaves your home
• Before meditation
• You have just had an argument or suffered an illness

You can also burn an herbal incense by blending ground herbs together and placing the mix on a lit charcoal disc on top of your incense burner.

Use sage, thyme, rosemary, lavender, peppermint, pine needles, frankincense or patchouli to clear the air, and your space.

3. Diffuse Essential Oils

Essential oils work to cleanse your home and help you feel light and uplifted by diffusing their unique and pleasant scent through the home. Many also have potent antimicrobial properties which remove airborne viruses and bacteria.

 

To raise the vibrations in your living space, try diffusing rose, basil, cypress, frankincense, juniper, lavender, myrrh, sage, peppermint, sandalwood, cinnamon, rosemary and eucalyptus.

If you don’t have a diffuser (and here are 10 reasons why you should) you can also mix up a cleansing room spray and spritz it around the home.

Mix six tablespoons of filtered water and 10 to 40 drops of essential oils of your choice in a small spray bottle. Shake well before each use.

4. Switch on Himalayan Salt Lamps

These softly glowing salt lamps are a natural source of fresh, clean air – just what you need to cleanse your home while providing an aura of calm.

Because they attract water, they have the incredible power to remove dust, pollen, smoke and other impurities from the air. Himalayan salt lamps also give off negative ions which mean they increase energy levels, remove static electricity, neutralize electromagnetic radiation, encourage sleep and improve overall mood.

5. Play Music

Music is more than just entertainment or an art form. It can have a soothing and healing effect on the whole body and alters the vibes in whatever space it fills.

Several studies have shown that the right kind of music provides pain relief; benefits the heart, blood and immune system; enhances learning; fights fatigue; and promotes sleep.

Of course, its ability to improve our frame of mind is beyond doubt. For the most mood boosting and positive vibrational effects, choose Classical, Jazz, Folk, Orchestra, Soul or Opera music. If they don’t do it for you, crank up anything that makes you feel good – whether that’s Jason Mraz, Florence and the Machine or Tracy Chapman!

6. Add Plants and Fresh Flowers

Experiencing nature and all it has to offer is a surefire way to enjoy positive vibrations, mindfulness and an uplifted mood. Eco-therapy (being in nature) has even garnered the attention of the scientific community as many studies find it fights depression, and improves mental health and well being.

Why not bring nature indoors and attract positive energy to your home? One way to do this is to fill your living space with potted plants and fresh flowers – their bright colors and fragrance also make for a welcoming space.

According to experts, certain plants are better than others at promoting positive energy and improving wellbeing. Some of the best include cactus, bamboo, jasmine, lavender, miniature roses, rosemary, mint, chrysanthemums, aloe vera and orchids.

7. Consider Crystals

Using crystals for healing and positivity dates back to ancient times. The Sumerians made magic potions from quartz, the Greeks wore amethyst as amulets, and the Chinese used jade in medicine.

Try adding these popular crystals to your home, said to have numerous benefits:

• Turquoise – the master healer, highly regarded for its protective and ‘lucky’ properties.
• Bloodstone – a powerful energizer, boosting enthusiasm and emotional wellbeing.
• Smoky quartz – helps you let go of negative energy.
• Rose quartz – helps to open and heal the energy of the heart.
• Carnelian – attracts fortune and encourages creativity and motivation.
• Quartz crystal – balances the body and clears the mind.
• Celestite – relieves stress and inspires happiness.
• Citrine – helps you to be present and live in ‘the now’.
• Aventurine – attracts new opportunities.

Even if you don’t believe in the healing powers of crystals, they will add some bling to your home which is guaranteed to improve your mood!

8. Choose Colors That Positively Affect Your Mood

The colors used in our home are a direct reflection of our personalities and can affect our moods and our thoughts – in the most subtle of ways!

Our reaction to a color is unique to us so choose what feels right for you. In general, we are affected by color in the following ways:

• Red – raises a room’s energy level and gets the adrenaline and blood pumping. It can be too stimulating for some people, and some spaces. Crimson can invoke feelings of rage and hostility.
• Yellow – is energizing and uplifting, it captures the joy of sunshine and signals happiness. Too much yellow can create feelings of frustration and anger.
• Blue – can be calming, relaxing and serene but can also cause feelings of sadness.
• Green – the most restful color for the eye, it promotes comfort, calm and growth.
• Purple – dark tones are associated with luxury, creativity and the dramatic. Lighter versions bring the same restful quality as blue, but with more warmth.
• Orange – evokes excitement, enthusiasm and energy.

9. Light Candles

Candles have been used for millennia to provide light, convey calm and highlight celebration. Their deep yellow glow is hypnotic, reflective and a great focal point for meditation.

Burning any candles will help increase the vibrations in your house, but choosing your candles in certain colors and scents (like those listed throughout this post) will raise them even higher.

10. Let the Fresh Air In

A stuffy, oxygen-depleted home can lead to feelings of lethargy and low mood. It’s just a plain unpleasant place to be! One of the easiest ways to refresh the air is to open your windows. Just letting in a few minutes of fresh air each morning before you go to work will cleanse and rejuvenate.

Increase the oxygen levels in your home and you’ll soon feel more energized, you’ll sleep better and enjoy improved overall health.

Other ways to keep your indoor air feeling fresh include avoiding chemical air fresheners, washing smelly clothes right away and keeping your pet beds clean.

11. Meditate

Raise your own vibrations through positive thought, clear intention and a focused perspective – also known as meditation!

When you do, you will begin to feel happier and less stressed. You will enjoy greater concentration, awareness and self-acceptance. There are physical benefits too – like better heart health, immune function and longevity.

Once you begin to feel the beneficial effects of meditation, you’ll soon begin to associate them with the place you mediate – your home!

12. Fill Your Home with Beauty & Happy Memories

Make your home an extension of you! Choose items that have meaning, that make you happy and that inspire you.

When choosing to keep or remove each piece, ask yourself if it evokes good or bad memories, or has positive or negative connotations.

Artwork, books, trinkets, signs, memory jars and framed photos all serve to turn your home into a place of positive energy – just don’t stand for clutter!

13. Cut Down on Electronics

Having the television turned on can affect the atmosphere of a given room – depending on what is playing and how it makes you feel. Be conscious of when and what you watch on television.

What’s more, there is a direct cause-and-effect relationship between the amount of time spent watching television and eventually being diagnosed with depression – something that will definitely lower both your vibrations, and those of your home!

14. Remove Toxins

Having a house filled with chemicals and other toxins is sure to negatively impact your health, your mental wellbeing and the vibes around you.

Clear the chemicals from your personal care products with these natural beauty tips, and make sure to eliminate these sources of hidden toxins from your kitchen and pantry.

15. Create a Space for Relaxation

While your entire home should feel like a place you can relax and enjoy, carving out a sanctuary in a room, cubby or corner just for you is important. Appreciate this space and relish the time you have for yourself – spend at least ten minutes there every day.

You can use it for meditation, reading, yoga, or anything else that will revitalize you and raise your vibrations!

Hope the above has helped you all ❤

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

 

On Your Worst Days

Hello loves, ❤

I know it seems like things will never get better. And I know that you feel like you are stuck in your current situation. Life has seemed like more of a battle than a blessing lately, and every time you finally seem to make a breakthrough, life only seems to knock you back down. These are the days that can either destroy or define you, and it is up to you to decide which path you take.

I hope you don’t let it destroy you.

I hope you get back up every time the world expects you to just give up and stay stationary. I hope you never feel like you won’t get any further than you are right now because you have no idea how much more you will grow in just a few short years. You will meet people whose impact will stay with you for years, and though some of these memories will be negative, you will learn how to transform that negativity into exactly the motivation you need to move forward. You will learn what love really is and exactly what it is not. You will finally understand the value of being alone and all of the joy that only you can bring to yourself. You will learn to start living for yourself.

None of this will be easy, and I don’t think change will ever become easy for you or for anyone. The more things change, the more unpredictable life becomes and with that unpredictability comes the fear of the unknown. You have always been so afraid, but eventually, you will learn to not only tell yourself to be brave but to truly live that way. You will have your moments where your fear may get the best of you, but the older you get, the more resilient you will become. You will begin to understand the power of your own mind and your ability to either make a bad day better or worse. And one day I hope you will always choose to make it better.

Things are definitely going to get better. It is all in how you perceive what is happening around you.

You can either let your circumstances consume you, or you can use them as motivation to get yourself to where you truly want to be. Your career, your money, your love life, all of these things are ever-changing and therefore, you must learn to live with the fact that life will not and cannot stay the same. If everything around you is changing, you have to learn to adapt along with it or else you may find yourself crumbling under the weight of all of the things you cannot control.

You are going to meet so many different people throughout your life. Some of these people are meant to stick around for a while and others are just here for a moment; regardless of how long you get to spend with someone, know that their impact on your life is not determined by the amount of time you knew them. You can spend years with a person and never truly know them and minutes with others who seem like home. Learning how to let go is one of life’s biggest challenges, but the more you encounter these types of situations, the more you will truly understand the value of the phrase, “If you love someone, let them go.”

Love comes in so many different forms. You will find romantic love, and you will lose it. You will think time and time again that this time will be the time that everyone always talks about only to realize you are just not at that time yet. It’s okay. With each new person you meet and you lose, you will learn exactly what you want out of a relationship, and one day, I am confident that you will meet someone beyond your wildest expectations. You have already met some truly remarkable people, and if it hasn’t been any of them, just imagine who it is you have waiting for you. They are waiting for you, too.

You will form so many new friendships, and your heart will grow with the realization of how many more people like you there are out there. With these beautiful new relationships forming, you will also experience what it is like to lose those who you thought would always be by your side. We are not the same people we were when we were 18. Life changes, and so do we, and none of us should shame each other if that growth pulls us in different directions. We are not all meant to be the same people, and we have to learn to accept that. Sometimes these “break-ups” will hurt worse than romantic ones because so often we forget that our friendships need as much work as our romantic relationships. Sometimes you will be able to repair these ties, and other times, you will learn that often the best thing two people can do for each other is to simply just move on. Moving on doesn’t have to be ugly; it is just the acceptance of the fact that not everything we love is meant to last forever.

Today may not be your best day, and tomorrow might not be either, but I promise you that one day, you will wake up and realize this is the beginning of everything you have ever wanted.

Please don’t give up on your dreams and the life you always wanted for one that feels comfortable or seems like what you deserve. You do not deserve the horrible things that you think you do, and I hope one day you can truly believe that. It is up to you whether you want to move forward or stand still; but know that if you choose to stay exactly where you are, you will never know how far you could have gone.

It is always worth the risk of failure to work towards all that you have ever wanted. You never know what tomorrow could bring, so please don’t close yourself off to the future. The difficult days can be crippling, but the beautiful days are worth more than you could ever imagine. I promise you that.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤